On Faith: A Collective Journey

I carried this topic with me -in my thoughts for the past week.  It is easy to give many answers- but somehow they didn’t seem to fully define true joy.  There are the great gifts and joys of family, of goals accomplished, of travel, of music, of creativity, of sharing experiences with those we love.  Many of those however seem in the moment, special, but fleeting. What gives me joy in the every day.  What wakes in me the feeling of joy, peace, contentment as I go about my daily activities. As a child we intrinsically know what we love and gravitate to the activities we enjoy- but over time expectations, commitments, distractions, can take us away from that. . Those can bring great reward, but don’t always answer to the natural gifts God has given us to use and enjoy - or the things our soul may crave.  Is joy in the balance of both? Steve Jobs says, "the only way to do great work is to love what you do”,  it is all about passion. While I can agree with tha...

The last couple of weeks has been a time of serious reflection for me. I feel like this should have been a really easy topic, I mean, who can’t come up with a list a mile long of things that makes their heart sing? Share my thoughts and off we go. Next. But it wasn’t that easy. It was actually a struggle for me. What makes my heart sing? I would think about it while I was driving to and from work. How would I word this, how would I explain that there was very little that makes my heart truly sing. I thought more. Was there really only a small handful of things? Did they even really make my heart sing or was I going to make a list for the sake of making a list, put a smiley face on it and call it a day. I’m a thinker. I’m a doer. I’m a list maker.  To a fault. I often over think to the point of paralysis. I keep “busy” to the point of not being able to rest. I constantly make lists – always thinking about the next thing and adding more and more to the list. So, what does ...

When I first saw this as the topic to write on I really didn't know what I would write about. And so for the past week or so I have been paying particular attention to what just makes me so happy, excited, bubbling over on the inside. So what makes my soul sing? My sons, family and friends. For many different reasons and yet for so many of the same reasons. The laughter that erupts from the basement when the boys are enjoying a video game, or a small video on their phones with each other, or just sharing a moment that happened through out their day or an incident caused by one of our cats. The encouraging words, the prayers, the grace and mercy showed to me by hugs, emails, texts, FB messages and the best of course are in person. I am one of those people who just loves being in the company of dear friends and family – just listening to the buzz going on around me. In those moments when life is perfect - that makes my heart sing. And I truly love a sunrise. This morning, actuall...

Authenticity If you know me you know that I am basically a wide open book. I’d like to think that what you see is what you get with me. However, what you might not know is that I spend far too much time worrying about what others will think about my home, about my kids, how I look, and the life choices I make. I don’t shy away from sharing how I feel, about being vulnerable as to my experiences or limitations but when it comes to those material things (nice home, nice clothes), I never quite feel like I can measure up.  I rarely open up my home to host as I’m ashamed that everything is second hand and life is strewn throughout our house, not to mention I don’t enjoying cooking, so what would I possibly feed my guests. Spending time connecting deeply with those I care about, now that’s where I thrive. Hikes in the woods, a coffee by the fireplace, a game night or just relaxing on the deck with a friend is where I am authentically and comfortably myself. I will also seek out authenti...

Some things to come to mind: Love, time with a friend, authentic connection, elderly couple walking down the street holding hands, my children laughing, teaching someone something new, family sharing a meal, sunshine, watching waves roll in, accomplishing something I didn’t think I could, music that touches your core, driving fast, being a calm presence for someone in crisis, and the smile of a stranger. On this cold dreary January I needed a reminder of what brings joy. It is so easy to be overwhelmed with the hurt and darkness in this world, especially in policing. While I wait for sunshine and beach days I will find ways to bring laughter to my children, connect with friends, and work hard to bring smiles to strangers. Wonder what makes Gods heart sing?

What are those times, those moments or glimpses of joy for me?  When do I smile to myself and say ‘this is joy’? When do I feel the bubbling up up of happiness and experience the physical sensation that joy brings? My children bring me joy. As I have watched them grow into young adults, I get to experience or witness how they have chosen to live their lives. To see them in loving and balanced relationships, to see them as community minded people, to hear their voices - these things bring me joy. To see them face challenges and use learned and natural tools to problem solve, for their kindness and willingness to give without question, those things bring me joy. Their love for each other brings me joy. My grandsons bring me a simpler joy. Those little expressive faces that laugh and light up so easily. Their confident sense of selves. Their hugs and wrestles, their gentle teasing and jokes, bring me joy and a vision for our families’s futures. Conversation brings me joy. Quickly gett...

The answers come fast… …watching an infant being loved on by an older sibling …Friday movie nights snuggling with my family …seeing acts of compassion and care between my children …quiet times with God that bring connection and a deep sense of peace …coffee brewed to perfection …witnessing acts of bravery and selflessness …seeing authenticity and engagement, vulnerability and risk …moving from oppression to justice …hearing stories of God’s faithfulness ...a perfect snowflake …a sharpening conversation engaging vision, energy, and passion …the beach …music that moves my soul …watching folks wrestle through conflict while being committed to each other and finding a solution …walking the journey of life with deep friendships …seeing the curvature of the earth through an airplane window …summer heat Life is full of moments that make my heart sing and take my breath away. When we experience these moments, we need to sit up and pay attention! These a...

Press Your lips against my ear   Let me hear Your breath ,   Your word   Your instruction   It is Your voice my mind and heart and body longs for   Always wise and full of hope.   speak to me I pray    Surely as You breathe out Your words    They in turn will become my life’s breath   Strength to my body   Instruction to my mind   Hope for my spirit       Press Your lips against my ear   Let Your words fall   And let me gather each one as a precious treasured jewel   For truly they are that and more   Be generous    Be merciful    Don’t share Your words based on merit   Surely then I should be deafened by Your silence.   But give words based on who You are   Give words out of the overflow of Your generous heart   Then I will hear the soft lapping watery sou...

Several years ago, I was in a season of life as a new parent and was a stay-at-home mom with 4 small children ages 6, 4,2 and 1. It was a crazy time and one full of adventure. I am an extrovert, someone who loves to engage in conversation and life with other people. I come from a big family; 5 children and 2 parents who were always together. That home environment is what I’m used to - the air I breathe - noisy, boisterous, and fun-loving. During my years as a stay-at-home mom, I really missed adult interaction. I needed the company of women to live life with, to grow and develop with and I just wasn’t getting enough of that. There were some things that held me back though, life with 4 kids is fun - and chaotic, messy and sticky. Every day, my house looked like a bomb had went off. How could I invite someone into that mess, a mess that revealed the limits of my parenting and revealed how little control I had over my house and kids? One day it kind of struck me; for many years I lived u...

I. “What would people think?!” My mother’s mantra. “What would people think?!” Her north star. “What would people think?!” The compass she gave me. The compass I followed. The compass I (sometimes struggle to) reject. II. I was never good enough. Too fat, too female, too emotional, too outspoken, too hippie-ish, too asocial, too inconvenient, too demanding, too pretty, too ugly, too outspoken, too opinionated, too ängleshe, too smart, too eating-disorder-y, too independent… too me. III. They shunned me. I couldn’t take it anymore.  Something had to give. So I told him to move out. And they shunned me. That is what people think. But a funny thing happened: I demanded what I needed, And the moods and suicidal thoughts and desperation and pressure stopped. I was stable. I was sane. I was decisive. I was healing. IV. Authenticity. It’s hard for me to write about this. Not because I’m not authentic. But because I don’t think about it. Listen, I’ve struggled. I worked my ass off to fit t...