My word - by Wendy
I get bored really easily. My mind wanders quickly to a deeper, related thought. Or a completely different one. Or planet. I have very low tolerance for (my own description) of nonsense. For example, jokes that target particular groups, superficial chit chat (glad you can’t read my mind, lol!), gossip. Large parties are a nightmare for me. You would find me in the kitchen, finding a useful task, or, worse case scenario, plotting my ‘socially appropriate’ escape plan. I am happy to be at a life stage now where saying ‘no, not for me’ is easy.
My 2018 experiment is to listen better when I really don’t want to. At least longer, working at staying in the conversation at hand. Resisting my well developed and ingrained habit of moving on. I have observed, and maybe even learned some things in this short experimental time frame.
How people start conversations is rarely where the conversation goes. People do want to engage in interesting topics, perhaps not quite knowing how to get the dance started. We are so bogged down by social niceties, (I call that frivolous chatter), that for me, my mind leaves before real conversation happens. So I will try to stay in those moments, a bit longer, to see where the interactions lead.
2.Many people are socially awkward. Me too.
3.So many people are lonely. Listening is a way to love, to encourage. To be present says that they matter. I think that includes being physically and totally present. (So much for multitasking!).
4.Listening takes work. Perhaps I can view it as gift of love to those within our circles.
5. Not shifting someone else’s conversation towards one that I want to have, is hard work. Truly learning to listen. Period.
Hm.
So when do I really listen? When I adore that person. When we have a history or context, but not always or necessarily. When a person uses full words, and has a rich and extensive vocabulary. When a new idea is being expressed that stretches my current understanding. When I don’t understand something and crave learning more. Original thoughts.
I am thankful that God offers all these conditions. He creates challenges, and answers, way beyond my comprehension. I have entered into the dance of communication with Him. The back and forth of listening and speaking. A safe and loving environment where I can ask, He listens to my heart and words, and responds in His own time, His way. What a model for me of listening. Amen.
My 2018 experiment is to listen better when I really don’t want to. At least longer, working at staying in the conversation at hand. Resisting my well developed and ingrained habit of moving on. I have observed, and maybe even learned some things in this short experimental time frame.
How people start conversations is rarely where the conversation goes. People do want to engage in interesting topics, perhaps not quite knowing how to get the dance started. We are so bogged down by social niceties, (I call that frivolous chatter), that for me, my mind leaves before real conversation happens. So I will try to stay in those moments, a bit longer, to see where the interactions lead.
2.Many people are socially awkward. Me too.
3.So many people are lonely. Listening is a way to love, to encourage. To be present says that they matter. I think that includes being physically and totally present. (So much for multitasking!).
4.Listening takes work. Perhaps I can view it as gift of love to those within our circles.
5. Not shifting someone else’s conversation towards one that I want to have, is hard work. Truly learning to listen. Period.
Hm.
So when do I really listen? When I adore that person. When we have a history or context, but not always or necessarily. When a person uses full words, and has a rich and extensive vocabulary. When a new idea is being expressed that stretches my current understanding. When I don’t understand something and crave learning more. Original thoughts.
I am thankful that God offers all these conditions. He creates challenges, and answers, way beyond my comprehension. I have entered into the dance of communication with Him. The back and forth of listening and speaking. A safe and loving environment where I can ask, He listens to my heart and words, and responds in His own time, His way. What a model for me of listening. Amen.
Your paragraph of when do I really listen...spoke volumes. So beautifully expressed. I too find myself entranced by those speaking with massive vocabulary....hearing words and understanding by way of context. I kept thinking about TED talks and what engages me and what doesn't. A good story is also easy to listen to. I enjoyed your post Wendy!!
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